Everyone knows who *The Green Eyed Monster* is! JEALOUSY, ENVY and where I'm from we call it "HATING".
Where is the LOVE? Why can't we as women, black women especially get along? People can say whatever they want, however it's very clear that we as black women can be haters. What's really going on? This really hurts my heart to write, however the truth will set *ME* free...LOL Hey, it is what it is! I have lived 25 (almost 26 in less than a month) years wondering why some women are jealous and hate one another. See, I grew up in a family where the women supported each other, there wasn't sibling rivalry, mother daughter jealousy or any of that nonsense. So when I got into the real world and discovered some of my closet friends having problems with jealousy stemming from their mothers and sister sibling rivalry, or there mother or aunts being jealous of them I couldn't quite comprehend. However, it did explain some of their tendencies. Everyone has ONE even TWO of their close girls that is the most jealous broad you have ever seen. If she's not jealous of YOU, it's one of your other girls. If not then it's Beyonce' or Nicki Minaj or heck Michelle Obama. You know who they are and you roll your eyes and mumble the "here we go again" everytime that GREEN EYED MONSTER appears. Whether it's when you tell her your 'boo' you've been messing around with is now your 'man' or 'boyfriend', you just was promoted at your job, or just bought your first REAL GUCCI you see her HATE flare up and that natural brown eye turn GREEN right before your eyes. You can't believe it, "Why can't she just be happy for me?" you ask your self. Well, first my dear it has nothing to do with you. This chic has some serious issues she must take a personal inventory of herself and find out the root of the problem. You can still love her though but recognize she's 'that girlfriend' and handle her accordingly.
Now I'm just going to discuss THREE major areas I seem to notice the GREEN EYED MONSTER, because that's all I have time to write about, we'd be here ALL NIGHT if I listed them all.
One: Your Love Life
Do you have that one precious friend who no matter what guy you think is cute, like, or date,"He is just not the one for you" in HER opinion? You can be so excited to tell her your new Guyssip (Guy gossip...yea just made that one up...LOL) and she shuts you down everytime. "HIM--Wait Him? Tommy boy? Oh, you know Sharita cousin's sister used to talk to him and he dogged that poor girl out, cheated on her and everythang, I think he burnt her!" Or as soon as he makes you mad and you have to vent she like "Ummm Hmmm, I knew it was something about him, when we played spades he just seemed sneaky." You ladies get the point it's like WOW can you just sometimes listen, every time we talk or vent we aren't looking for an answer from 'Almighty Girlfriend', sometimes we want a shoulder to lean on, a hand to wipe our tears and a girlfriend to just UNDERSTAND us. We as women have to be careful what we tell our 'girlfriends' and sometimes just go straight to GOD! Or the person we have the problem with, can cause our lives a lot of headache and female drama sad but true.
Two: Appearance
Now this is a very touchy subject here. Appearance ranges from physical features you were born with and had no control over to the threads (yea I took it back in my parents era with that one...LOL) you're wearing. I honestly believe that this one stems waaaaay back to slavery days, YES I said slavery days! Are you familiar with Willie Lynch? Well if not search engine him...lol and educate yourself. I'm going to summarize who he was and I'm sure will be discussing him in some of my other blogs. Well, Willie Lynch was a slave master who wanted to preserve the slaves mentality decades after slavery was abolished to destroy the African American race. Seriously, look him up. Basically, he wrote a letter explaining the demise of African Americans and putting older women against the younger women, older men against the younger men, females against the males and light complected slaves against dark. Hence, the "house negros vs field negros" Whew, I so would have been in the field...SMH.
Here's a link to the famous Willie Lynch Letter http://www.africanamericanimages.com/aai/willie%20lynch.htm
So, this is where some of the deep embedded haterism started from. Also, we inflict this on our children, siblings and ourselves with the jokes, perms we give our three and four year old daughters so they can have straight hair and not walk around looking like a 'pikaneny' or Ceclie from "The Color Purple". Instead of letting her natural hair breathe and styling her hair without the harsh chemicals and name calling (we do it don't front). The light skinned girls with long hair starting as young as kindergarten age were considered prettier than the darker complected girls, with shorter hair. And there have been studies upon studies that have proven this statement. It's as if we are still in slavery, this deeply saddens me. I never had an issue with my complexion, possible because I was always called "the pretty dark skinned one" OR because my parents instilled self esteem in me at a young age, honestly I believe GOD instilled it in me because as far back as I can remember I thought I was the 'it' (slice of humble pie please...not conceited Confident), but that is the TRUTH. I mean God made me this way I couldn't change it if I wanted to (No MJ jokes plz) Even when I look back in high school and I was skinny, black and four eyed THEN I thought I was 'it'. LOL. I've always had a light skinned Best friend (or lighter than me) and I was cool with that it never bothered me and I NEVER felt inferior. But see I'm just ONE person. Millions of lil brown skin girls feel differently. I still remember my cousin and I laying in bed talking and giggling and it bothered me then that she wanted to have babies with a WHITE man so her baby could be LIGHT SKINNED WITH LONG HAIR. Now at the tender age of 8 that struck a cord with me. And sometimes I wonder will my FUTURE WELLLLL in the FUTURE brown baby feel that way (I typically date brown skinned men although I have NO requirements, LOVE knows NO COLOR, but that's just what's in my archives...LOL). Now I can admit that bothers me, hopefully my baby can have thick skin like his/her momma! I took it in stride My Granny still tells my mom not to joke and call me black this or black that, I know she's just joking. Anywho, I have witnessed and heard people say over and over again, she thinks she's all that because she's light skin, or because she brown skin with long hair etc. Now appearance isn't limited to complexion also ASSETS. The bigger or smaller the breats, booty, legs, thighs and FEET. Yes, that surprised me too but some women can't embrace a 9 1/2 or 10, like myself they want a 7. My opinion hey hey work it out in those big ol feet God blessed you with! I bet somebody out there feetless and would love those boats! (I apologize that was mean but I'm serious though).
Also, it can be in you outer garments. Whether it be designer or just good quality clothing. Ladies may hate. Yo' girls wonder if you pump faking with your REFUND CHECK (inserts crowd 'oooing and ahhing' ...LOL). You sack chasing (Oh I sound OLD LOL), Doing something strange for a little change or her Stripping at night or during lunch hour hey, whatever floats ya boat! But seriously you know what I mean your friends counting your money! And not trying to help you from making frivolous mistakes or taking a true personal interest. They HATING point blank period! They just don't want you out shining them. And that's just SAD. But yet it's our reality.
Three: Status
This one is for the hard working women out here who know the true meaning of WORK and HUSTLING! The women who may have one great paying job that degree worked well for ya. Or the woman who is pursuing her degree and has a baby working 1,2,3 jobs making ends met, or working several jobs no baby,or just a plain jane who didn't go to school but has work ethics and has a good job. The one who knows a lil sweat ain't go kill you boo! You can make your own ends meet! STATUS, where you are in life. You have that one friend who always competes with you no matter what it is she's 'gotsta' have it too', no better yet 'gotsta do better than you'. I'm telling you right now PRAY FOR HER! Misery loves company, it's nothing you can say to get her to see your point of view. You the enemy anyway, that GREEN EYE has reared it's ugly face. Just continue to do YOU and PRAY FOR HER!
*Disclaimer: Now don't confuse her with your girl who you have similar taste with and you guys are both ambitious! They are different ladies...LOL
Ladies, just pray for the GREEN EYED MONSTERS & Keep being the Fabulous YOU that only YOU can be, so well. If it gets too Catty you may have to let her loose! Hey, it happens to the BEST of us! STAY FLY!
XOXOXO, Princess Nikki
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